One of the most significant attribute of being human is the knowledge of one's own dissolution. No other living creature (that we know of) is aware, and that too deeply and acutely, of the limitation of time it is allowed to live on this earth. This fact defines the human condition. We may not realize it but we are constantly counting the days of our lives. All our plans, our aspirations, our disappointments are based on the time we have at our disposal. We want to live the most and at our best in that specific period. We have no control on the duration of this life, it can end at any given point and without any warning. Life's ambiguity in terms of time is what makes us who we are. It drives us to do heroic deeds, aspire to achieve the impossible and leave a mark for others to remember us by. It also forces us towards an existentialist angst, a dark and deep depression at the futility of all human endeavour.
The awareness of our perish-abilty combined with an understanding of concepts of infinity and eternity makes it even harder to accept the fact that one day we will be no more. In all our thoughts and actions there lurks an anxiety, a hurry, a concern to get to what ever it is we want fast, and as soon as possible, for who knows when we will cease to be.
We comprehend what 'forever' means in theoretical terms if not practically. It is the continuation of time in, possibly the happiest of times far into the imaginable future. A future that is assured and confirmed, a future that is certain in all aspects, a future without unpleasant surprises and setbacks, a future where we will are happy, free of disease, threat and all fears - this to us is eternity. And this is what we yearn for.
Infinity and eternity are quests - impossible quests which may be aided by belief in an after life, a heaven that is continuous and everlasting, a condition free of the spectre of death and annihilation. We want to desperately believe that at deaths door we will not cease to be, rather we would cross over to another dimension and our essence will be preserved. Be it hell but let it be - a continuum of an existence, a promise of never losing one's own self.
I am fascinated by the desire to experience eternity and to know what is actually meant by the infinite. There are myriad of stories and wise dictums that tell us of the circular time, that what was, will be, that past repeats itself, that people may have not one life but several. But who has seen the eternal? which is a main attribute of GOD - his singularity - both as infinity and eternity. In a desire to be eternal, in our thirst to touch the infinite we want to imbibe God. And this search for certainty, for calm, for continuous peace is our quest for that unattainable and ever receding infinity.
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