Had my father been alive today he would have been very happy for some important milestones have come to pass. Three years. Three years since he's been gone, and it seems a moment back I was by his side. What travesty is this? what burlesque? what distortion? Is my mind playing games on me? I haven't the faintest idea.
All I know is this - he is not here in person at some very important occasions, nay, milestones, and I for one cannot accept his absence.
Aleena's upcoming Wedding
He can not be there for the wedding of his eldest grand-daughter. Of course, as far as I'm concerned he will be there in soul and spirit as he is with me at all times, but, there is something known as physical presence, the actual being of a person, his tangibility, his very material reality. And, that is precisely what is lacking and what one yearns for... deeply and truly. At this time my relationship with him is primarily one-sided, his acknowledgements are sporadic and not always clear. They usually leave me perplexed and perturbed, for I am left questioning what exactly he is wanting from me or trying to tell me if anything at all. The messages are vague, communication still weak with background noise marring it, and mixed with my memories so much that I mostly cannot tell one from the other. I want him to be there in person, walking, talking, responding to our questions, in full consciousness next month at Aleena's wedding. I want him to feel happy, and see that happiness in his eyes, I want him to see her being taken by her groom and his family in their protection with love to start a new life. I want him to stand by us and enjoy and share the memorable moments. I just want him there.
Imran's Professorship
It would have been a proud moment for him. Accomplishments in career, hard earned and well deserved honours were deeply appreciated and admired by him, and if attained by his own children proudly displayed on the mantel piece! so to speak. Imran, he would have been very happy not only for you and Goloo Baji, but for himself, to see the seeds of efforts take fruition. And, of course, calls would've have been made round the globe announcing the good news, albeit by chance.....
Alizeh's Graduation
Can one ever get over the fact that Alizeh, that tiny little baby, has finally graduated from college this summer?! Well, for one I find it hard to believe, for it was just yesterday that I saw her as a petite baby playing in her room, or coming back from school, or eating just enough to feed a little bird. I think she had a special place in Abba's heart simply because she's the youngest and most likeable, and spent most time with him. He loved her sense of organization, her bag complete with a notebook and a pen to jot down that phone number right when none could be found, her ever pleasant and ever present smile, and her ambitiousness. Today he would have stood a little taller seeing her become the elegant lady she has transformed into.
Jawed Bhai's Son's Wedding
Jawed Bhai was and I believe special to Abba. He admired him for his resoluteness and his sense of purpose and determination. He was and is very proud of him and truly thought of him as his son. His achievements meant the world to him. Now, while I was browsing the pictures of Humair's wedding, I felt a my heart sink and spirits collapse for I missed the one person who despite all odds would have made sure to travel to the other end of the world to be at this landmark event in Javed Bhai's life. He would have been so happy and so very proud of the grandiosity of the occasion! The majestic location, a true mansion! (koi haveli se kum nahi) bride arriving in a Helicopter! (stuff of Bollywood movies) the show sha! WOW! he would have said that Mathura's 'shan' and Nawab glory has been brought back and rejuvenated by Javed Bhai, and let Zainab know that she would have been his favorite simply because she had the privliged status of being Javed's bahu!!!!
I wish to GOD he was there in person for all these memorable events.
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