Of course there is never an excuse good enough for not condoling for a parent's death. I know this first hand for I still nurse a grudge against people who didn't acknowledge my father's demise almost 3 years ago. So why and how did I end up behaving in the same manner? and that too towards a friend.
Bereavement is hard. And if you are still mourning the loss of a father three years on every waking and sleeping moment of your life, reaching out to another person in that very same anguish becomes next to impossible. I sound like I'm explaining myself, as though, the inaction, the silence, the absence, the disappearance needs to be validated and approved and given the final seal of assent.
It just goes to show only one thing - my utter and sheer failure and guilt. My cowardice, my own fears of losses faced, the sheer horror of the harrowing depths of the abyss one plunges into freshly at the immediacy of the event of death. My own chasm had again opened up and started to widen even further, I could see nothing in front or behind me.. or around me...slowly the numbing process, the debilitating mists arose from the ground entwining me in their numbing miasma.
Words fail me here and I am numb....for your loss I know only gets worse with time.
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