At times u may not know a person but a face, a name, an image, a story strikes you to heart and hits you deep somewhere, which you didn't even know existed within you, the loss of Hamza, a child totally unknown to me wrenches my very being tonight and I somehow feel guilty for being alive while he is dead....
I can't put my grief anywhere. There is just too much of it in my life, my shelves are full, my rooms cluttered, my house exploding and my mind mindless. God, don't, please don't, take our children away from us, punish us any which way you want, take our lives, render us invalid, put us under unspeakable diseases but, spare the children. I don't know why, in this city of hate where life means nought, the shooting and killing of Hamza has totally broken my heart and cut across my spirit. A part of me is lost. Perhaps because in that shock of hair I see my Mustafa, in that naughty glint I see my own son's brown eyes always up to no good, maybe because in his tan skin I see my own color, I see in him my self, my child ufffff.
I can't bear this. What happened? why? why? why? I am going to let go of my security guard for I believe now he is more of a nuisance and a danger to life than a safety measure. Where are we heading? what are we telling our children? rather what are we showing them by our own actions? what fault is it of a teenager when he employs his guard to 'shoot' when all around him, the elders, the people he looks up to do the same, when everyone who commands respect moves with guards and escorts, when their security detail pushes and shoves people around and makes sure their master's presence and importance is felt. Our children learn by looking more than hearing.
What must a mother be going through? I get paranoid if my son isn't home from school within the stipulated 10 minutes, or doesn't answer his phone on the second ring, or doesn't come running on the first shout.... this is not acceptable.
I am angry with God today. *&#* the society and the people, they can go to hell for all I care. What kind of God allows this sort of injustice is what I want to know???? and don't tell me to go find some good in this for there isn't!!!!!
I am truly sorry Hamza for living while you being so young and vibrant lie slain, it's unfair, unjust, unholy, unacceptable, and in no way explicable, so people don't even try....but GOD you must answer me, and his parents!
I can't put my grief anywhere. There is just too much of it in my life, my shelves are full, my rooms cluttered, my house exploding and my mind mindless. God, don't, please don't, take our children away from us, punish us any which way you want, take our lives, render us invalid, put us under unspeakable diseases but, spare the children. I don't know why, in this city of hate where life means nought, the shooting and killing of Hamza has totally broken my heart and cut across my spirit. A part of me is lost. Perhaps because in that shock of hair I see my Mustafa, in that naughty glint I see my own son's brown eyes always up to no good, maybe because in his tan skin I see my own color, I see in him my self, my child ufffff.
I can't bear this. What happened? why? why? why? I am going to let go of my security guard for I believe now he is more of a nuisance and a danger to life than a safety measure. Where are we heading? what are we telling our children? rather what are we showing them by our own actions? what fault is it of a teenager when he employs his guard to 'shoot' when all around him, the elders, the people he looks up to do the same, when everyone who commands respect moves with guards and escorts, when their security detail pushes and shoves people around and makes sure their master's presence and importance is felt. Our children learn by looking more than hearing.
What must a mother be going through? I get paranoid if my son isn't home from school within the stipulated 10 minutes, or doesn't answer his phone on the second ring, or doesn't come running on the first shout.... this is not acceptable.
I am angry with God today. *&#* the society and the people, they can go to hell for all I care. What kind of God allows this sort of injustice is what I want to know???? and don't tell me to go find some good in this for there isn't!!!!!
I am truly sorry Hamza for living while you being so young and vibrant lie slain, it's unfair, unjust, unholy, unacceptable, and in no way explicable, so people don't even try....but GOD you must answer me, and his parents!
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