It's rather strange and very late in life. But then aren't we told by the genius himself that 'time' and 'space' is relative? and if we analyze that deeply we'd come to the conclusion that if it so then all reality is also a matter of perception.
What is strange is not knowing what I wanted to do and hell want to do even now! I know - this confession would certainly cast me off on the leper island sans merci for in the world of today, where babies, who are yet to be concieved of parents yet to be joined in nuptial bonds have their life plan and funerals planned to the tee what with the color coordinated flowers and candles. Imangine in this scenario a total moron, me, who has no plans, who doesn't believe in plans per se, who gets comatose on hearing the question 'so what is it that you want to do?' eeerrrrr 'I want to be able to breathe perhaps if that's not asking for much?'
I am totally aware of the blatant fact of being a failure. I am so not able to define my priorities(one hated word), my goals (yuk, hell! what are they??), where I want to be in the next 5 years? (hopefully, alive, and well, and reading). The thing is I am not what you call a modern talker, a seller of my talents (the fact that havent any of course helps no end) spin-doctor. Lest I am taken wrong, I don't mean to say that those who know what they are doing are manipultors not at all, nothing can be farther from the truth, all it means I am unable to fit myself into a predefined box or rather no box will have me in it!
All I know is I want to be a certain kind of a Woman. Ahhhh! You'd say and what kind would that be? well, a woman who:
lives alone and thinks alone and loves to be alone
who relies on no one but herself and of course her god
who isn't bitter, but is wise enough not to make same mistakes again
a woman who can love without being demanding and encroaching
a woman who knows what comes first - and its always her children time and again
a woman who believes in nurturing her soul
a woman who knows that nothing no matter how good lasts for ever
a woman who knows who to go to, and what to do when
she isnt feeling well
a woman who can flirt, at times :)
a woman who doesn't need to know how to cook for she can afford a chef, and order in whenever her heart desires
a woman whose got a massive collection of books, art and a gorgeous house, well throw in fabulous clothes and diamonds!
a woman who travels
a woman who writes and writes well
a woman whos wise and can teach wisdom - that is if it can be taught
a woman who is happy being herself!
a woman who doesn't need a man and doesn't want a man
a woman who won't settle for anything less than the best of the best
a woman who must be respected
a woman who cannot be taken for granted
well reads like a wish list told you I'm so not good at telling what I want to do or be!!!!
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