10 things I hate about being a woman in Pakistan

Not having the licence to make the first move! why?? why can't a woman approach a man and still be thought perfectly decent and desirable?

being sliced in half - literally - when giving testimony, so not fair! I protest

having the 'right' of divorce being 'given' by the husband-to- be on the Nikahnama (talk of oxymorons), btw, who the hell is he to give any right in the first place?

having to behave in a certain accepted 'right' manner! uff totally irritating (of course pre-stamped and pre-approved by this hypocritical society)

Being literally mobbed by the 'Hijab Brigade' for not being one of them, and not being on the right 'path', and for trying to attract the opposite sex by wearing revealing clothes and makeup, and for not attending the daras and so on - actually being made to feel like a holy sinner.

The unbearable and unsustainable social pressure of - YES - buying the latest lawn collection every year.

The agony and ecstasy of having to go hunch backed holding designer bags from hell.

The absolute necessity of 'sucking up' to the husband, no matter how big a loser he is.

And , of course, the urgency of finding the perfect husband (what a joke) at the earliest, who loves you to death.... (which they normally do)

Then, to top it all off, to prove your worth in being a woman by producing a team of children, that too male if you want to hold on to that marvellous husband of yours!!!! and be called fertile - hell!!! am I a piece of agricultural land or what? fertile my foot!