Not all of us are fortunate enough to pay tribute to our parents in their lifetime, to be able to tell them, more so on a public platform, how much we appreciate the sacrifices they have made for us and what they have done for us. For most of us it is too late, the moment is already somewhere dangling in the past, gone, and forever irrecoverable, we are left only with thoughts and words unsaid and unspoken floating mid air like mist in the air around us everywhere we go till they tend to wrap around us. Why am I thinking this way? well the wonderful celebration of my aunt's 80th birthday by her children who all gathered from around the globe to honor her dedication as a mother in raising them and being there for them made me miss my father even more. It was a great and onerous gesture on the part of her caring children who all took time out of the hectic lives and gave this time exclusively to their mother, my hats off to all of them! and of course to her to raising them...so kudos to all of them.
It is a good no rather a brilliant idea to let our parents know how much they mean to us, how much we owe it to them in being who we are and how much at every single step in our life do we realize this. Normally we assume and quite wrongly that our parents know or ought to know of our love and appreciation, that it goes without saying how much we love them and recognize their efforts in bringing us up, but, its only when we have children of our own and at times not even then do we understand or not as the case may be that they are human also and not angels and may need a pat on their backs once in a while. Parenting in itself is a thankless job if I may say so, you don't do it because you have to rather because you choose to and you agree to all the parts of the contract once you decide to get pregnant, but then we all know that life isn't always that simple.
Perhaps, its too late for me to tell my own parents personally how much they meant to me and what role they played in shaping my life I can address a few words to my aunt, they may all not be all usual tributary but maybe necessary and in my way of cherishing her role...
In my childhood she played the role of my surrogate mother and I spent most of my time at her house with her, she is my foster mother which people consider a major bond and indeed it is. She taught me Urdu for as long as I remember and I owe my love for Urdu literature to her, starting from Momin and Galib to Iqbal. I wouldn't know Urdu otherwise! that's a good teacher for you right there!
But life isn't always easy neither is it simplistic. Situations arise, people pull away from each other and many distances and issues arise because of which relations are altered forever. The easiness, the comfort, the closeness all disappears and is replaced with coldness and awkwardness and suddenly over the years you find you don't know the people you knew earlier so well any more at all, and their life, their routines become strange, removed, distanced and far away.
I have never had a chance to say this to her personally and perhaps never have the courage to do so that I know I have hurt you, and I want to say sorry for it, there isn't an apology that can remedy griefs and hurts, but I also hurt and I had my own reasons for good or bad, that's all I can say. But I am truly sorry for bringing sorrow in your life and I want you to forgive me if you find it in your heart to do so.
You know that no matter what has happened or didn't happen I still love you very much.
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