is what we all are looking for - that assurance, that promise of things and ourselves lasting as long as it takes, as long as, perhaps, we are beyond conjecturing and defining and comprehending with our minds so enveloped and encased in time.
I want things, the good ones, to last infinitely. The pleasurable moments to never leave and evaporate in air as though they never existed. And then, we think to ourselves of some wishes and desires to come true and stay true as for as long as it can and then some more. I think I am personally afraid of change, of the devastation time brings, of the entropy of matter, of fizzling out of memories and people as though they were a speck of dust and nothing more.
Yesterday, it was my father's second death anniversary. And, today, I write this to wish a very happy birthday to someone rather special. Are these all intertwined? these seemingly opposing and contrasting events? life and death? I don't know. All I know is, and that too not for sure, that maybe one thing ends and another takes over and perhaps in this manner the link remains, the cord isn't broken and so it is till forever.
You lose someone precious, and, for the rest of your days you keep looking for them trying to find them in your memories, in places, in other people's memories, in your dreams and yet they elude you and keep you on the move. And, then, you may find someone special, and though they do not fill the vast crevices in your soul craved out of the disappearance of others, they bring a different joy, they show you that life is continuous despite everything. We can neither stop it nor turn it backwards, the arrow of time does and indeed keeps moving forward.
Today of all days, I want to escape the cage of time and go beyond, and meet with those with whom it is not possible to meet because they are dead and gone forever, and those because they are here, but are not and never will be a part of my life, and make those precious moments last forever into infinity....
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