Its almost 4 am and I am up like a lark. Is my mood getting ready for a high? Ufff I am so not ready for this!
Tomorrow is Musti's party and he is all excited and I am in panic. A whole house full of kids for most of the day isn't exactly my idea of a fun day, who are those mothers who are always smiling and welcoming kids and baking and cooking for them? you know the ones who come on TV and all the soppy commercials? I mean are they for real? Where exactly does one get that kind of energy for constant elation and even more present smiling? At 13 he still hasn't grown out of the bouncy slide, the DJ and the works, the things I believe I had on his first birthday. Anyway, I kind of enjoy and like his penchant for having a good time, he can turn any day into a party what to talk of his birthday - I haven't in my entire life seen anyone so excited and happy on his birthday as he is, which I believe is a gift of God to him - the ability to be happy.
I am now officially addicted to playing solitaire on the computer, it seems that's the only time I can clearly think not that it has gotten me anywhere so far as yet. I was going through the British Visa forms tonight and it seems that apart from your family tree going down a couple of generations they want to know everything else! It is so tedious, the petty details and the sinister questions, like have you ever been arrested? hello?? who is going to admit to that one I want to know. The things people ask and the things they expect an answer for. This world amazes me a little more each day.
I am simply bored of being myself. Has that ever happened to you? I want to be someone else, just another person with a different set of characteristics and a different life - wouldn't that be good for a change? I suppose it would be, to be absent from one's own person and escape from one's own mind for however short a period would be a perfect relief of sorts and if nothing else would engender a new found appreciation of our own mundane life and it's ever persistent problems.
I believe travel is on the cards again and I better pack my bags and take off. Might work as a charm!
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