I was so not in a good mood today. It happens once in a while when I feel I need to be alone, need the silence, need the tranquillity - but strangely enough I also feel lonely, a little upset with myself, a little at odds with the world! Now if that's not confusing what is? You tell.
Conflicting emotions, boredom and feeling overwhelmed, lonely and wanting to be left alone, irritated and yet wanting to laugh and have fun all make up for who we are and interestingly enough they hit us more or less at the same time. Does that happen to most of us or is it reserved for the mentally deranged? Madness is one condition that provokes my interest, what is the dividing line between sanity and insanity and who decides who's on which side of the divide? Are we all insane and mad to a certain level inside of us and it's our social upbringing that keeps the instincts in check and thus keep us civilized? or are there distinct reasons for being insane?
I am so happy that I have finally gotten back our routine (of one time). I and Musti have a fine balance of understanding, he knows he needs to study and do certain things for him to have fun on the weekends, he studies and that makes my world go round!
The evening was enjoyable with friends, I think I needed that, just to chill and bullshit for a while!
If I am sounding a little off tonight, well, what did I say...
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