The day started a bit rushed what with having to take musti to the ENT specialist at the PIA Crew medical centre at the ungodly hours of between 10 to 11.30. I was scared of hearing the verdict, as he has carried a bad virus since the last two weeks and its no where near getting resolved - my anxieties were put to rest by the lovely doctor, yes we have to be extremely careful about his ear infection so that it heals properly and doesn't recur, it wasn't something irreversible (thank god).
I am on days, some selected days, afflicted with this demonic of things - as soon as I take my morning pills within the next 15 minutes my chest starts to burn as though the pills itself are stuck between my throat and my stomach, in the food pipe and are causing serious constriction! It is evil. The pain is unnerving, and is only eased by either taking Alka seltzer tablets, or any other antacid, or at times nibbling on something and drinking. So while we were going to the doctor, the whole twenty minutes I writhed in pain till we stopped in KDA to fetch some water and biscuits, which didn't help. The duty doctor's verdict - anxiety! Of course! why didn't I think of that, I was shit scared for Musti, what if the doctor had something terrible to say? What if I had been neglectful as a mother? what if some irreparable damage had been done? my whole body and mind was being bombarded with unsettling questions like these and the acid was cutting my insides like a razor sharp knife.
The child shown, no major damage recorded! A major sigh of relief.... the acidity gone like in a flash, what? what happened? Had to be anxiety.
Another, thing I have been struggling with in the last few days is this sleepiness in the mornings, maybe I am not getting enough sleep at night? perhaps, its my morning meds that are making me drowsy, whatever the reason come 10'o clock and I am under the spell of a narcotic. And I am so not liking this for I want to be this fruitful, energetic, organized working-in-themorning person who has her shit in control. Instead, I am this flustered, all over the place, miss-I-can't-ever-do-anything-right-ever! Ever since I have decided that I am going to get my act together and instead of lazying around in bed till noon, and reading there, I would get up, get showered and dressed and like a sane person who knows what she is doing, get down to work which could be one of several things starting with serious reading of texts and note taking.
I have my website template to work on, I have samples of cushions to create, I need to
read like a 100 different books this coming month and then start to write seriously. I have to make presentations for PILL, make a teacher' training module for the Memon school and of course have to market them. Am I capable of all the above? certainly not, but trying isn't a crime so here I go.
The day slipped into an early afternoon which I secretly relished spending between the covers, but bo-ing! a change of plans and I end up in a new salon getting pampered with a luxurious pedicure! Now I can literally feel some heads wagging in disapproval, but hang on a sec, this 'feel good factor' thing is way too important for me, and I could never resist clean shiny feet.
The evening was spent having tea by the gallons and gulping down fried fish and pakoras at the lovely Golf Club. It's good to have a woman-connect day (though it seems all my days are in one way or another 'connect' days). I feel after a certain age, and yes I have crossed that benchmark, women need other women tremendously, it's crucial to let the steam off, for our concerns are similar and revolve more on emotions than reason, they are the matters of the night, of the feelings and the moon, of what the heart says and goes through versus the realm of the man, the day, the rational life and the sun.
Now, that its night once again, and I am safely ensconced in the comfort of my bed, with Musti sleeping soundly in his room next door, I feel chilled and calm.
A mundane day? whatever!
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