Leave Me ALONE!

Am I? no, seriously! am I allowed by the powers that be to be left alone? like EVER????
What I guess I'm trying to say is; life throws you a spanner least when you expect it, NO! hell, when you're expecting nothing or perhaps a small screw-driver!! Yes, I am sounding delirious and delusional but then who cares, when all is topsy turvy, when up is down and down up, when straight is crooked and crooked straight, when light is dark and dark light, when here is there and there here, when is is then and then is now and when I am myself but myself isn't I... that's the time to take a break - pause - and halt for nothing makes sense or perhaps everything makes a little too much sense!

We, humans, have an intrinsic fear of being alone, alone in person and alone in spirit. We go around looking for some part of us that we feel is missing and just as the jigsaw puzzle is incomplete without its last part, we yearn and scramble for that link - the missing link. We may not be alone in the the traditional sense of the word, we may at all times be surrounded by other people who play a significant role n our lives, with whom we interact on a daily and hourly basis, with whom we share our homes and our lives, yet, there still may exist a deep chasm within us. It doesn't mean that we are unhappy or dissatisfied with our lives, it may only point towards a void, a vacuum and an inner primal urge to fill that void.

We clamour, we go around busily, we scream and shout, we let it be known to the world out there; our need to be fulfilled, our need to be with someone special, but we do so in hidden ways. I feel that the more with ourselves we are, the more connected we are to our inner beings, the less lonely we feel. In fact, that is when we want to be alone, we'd rather be alone, for in the true sense of the word, we aren't really alone, but in touch and in sync with that part of us that completes us, that fits in the last piece of the puzzle.

I want be left alone, for when I am alone I am never actually alone. And when I am drowned by the multitudinous sounds of living and being, I feel lost and am unable to hear the sound of my own heartbeat, my own thoughts and my own being.