Pakistani's suffer from many delusional disorders, compulsive-obsessive behaviour, paranoias and neurosis of many kinds...in short we are a nation of mentally deranged women and seriously demented men ranging over several generations and time frames.
The one thing most women/men are obsessive about is "age" or should I say "ageing," You would find anything and everything in Pakistan except for people who are comfortable in their skin and especially their age. We have men and women lying with a poker face about their age all the time and every time! Why? why are people so insecure about themselves that they willingly obscure a part of their lives, mutilate all the experiences they may have had in those years, and, are ready to alter themselves completely - just so that they come up with the right Number? Isn't that preposterous to say the least? Why have our society also become age-concious. With the popularity and easy access to ageing treatments - what from anti-ageing creams and shampoos to botox and plastic surgery - youth is not an unattainable prize, it is more an elixir available to all and sundry. Looking good and keeping up your image is all good and helps in kicking in 'the feel-good factor.' But being obsessive about your age, and the ultimate drive to look younger every day as you climb the ladder of age is simply an exercise in futility not to mention in warping your sense of self.
Then the obsession with "marriage" and hooking up the right catch, no, catching the most eligible person on the horizon! Somehow, the mere fact of hooking up a desirable potential spouse is not a matter left to chance or fate or luck! NO! SIR NO! it is an art and a science that ought to be practised with ultimate precision lest something may go wrong and GOD forbid you end up with the wrong person - and, before you surmise wrong and right in moralistic terms, let me explain that what makes a woman or a man eligible and desirable as future spouse isn't what used to be like good looks and good educated background and so on - that isn't all and the buck doesn't stop there - HELL! Now, the markers that raise a person's marriageable market is what color passport one carries, where is the family palatial home situated? how big is that palace ( the assumption that it is a palace is notwithstanding anything) What car or SUV the person drives, what businesses does the family own, how many second homes do they own, what and how much designer wear can they all afford, who all they know in the country so on and so forth. Matters like personality, beliefs, ability to talk, humor, humility, loyalty are all resigned to the farthest of corners for in a world of rat eats rat such empty values are nothing but a white elephant to bear.
Then our men are totally hung up on "honour" or what they locally describe as "ghairat" and all this honour, this self-respect, this grace and dignity is somehow wrapped up with the behavior of their women! So, for the men to stay honorable the women must be chaste, covered up and subservient and any man who has the misfortune of being related to "gutsy" and independent women is to be pitied and shamed. Oh, how warped are our values!
What about men being totally controlled by their mothers! Even, when they are old and adults, the strange and quite a quirky reliance on one's mother is something to be worried about. Man! I'm all for respect and regard and love for one's parents and mothers especially, but, a hung up attitude and a more than normal concern isn't very healthy! and I am sure interferes with being a complete man, whatever that being is.
How about the people's general anxiety and wish to have children and yes, to bear a son! every man from all classes of the social spectrum desire a male heir! the women are ceratinly proud to tell how many "sons" they have borne as though it is their personal ticket to authority in the society ( actually, it is beyond any doubt) and men feel complete as a man to father a son - somehow, the parents of girls and too many girls are to be pitied and sympathized with because they have the burden of responsibility of girls - forget the fact that girls eventually grow up to be more responsible and giving than boys.
There is certainly the paranoia of women trying to control their husbands - what we call "hen-pecked" husbands! There are poor men who are good at heart, perhaps not very aggressive and high-handed who are abused to the hilt by their over-arching and all- powerful wives! My heart goes out for all men whose wives deals them a tough hand! and they just tag along, whimpering, mumbling. or simply hiding all through the long walk of life. The Amazons that these poor men have the bad luck of marrying are paranoid beyond reality, they think their husbands are either cheating on them or favouring someone else, or doing something wrong all the time for which the must pay penance and that too at all times! holding the wife's purse, the baby's baby bag, the children's hand all in full view of the other males in public does not earn them the gratitude of their so called crazy wives!
to be continued................
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