wavering! quitting! giving up! and failing!
Why are there always polarities? Why the opposing stances? Why the sea of distance between the two and why an earth in between? Good and Evil? Day and Night? Life and Death? Love and Hate? Young and Old? Health and Disease? Beauty and Ugliness? Truth and Lies! and so on...
I resolve to take a decision in life. it may be anything, say.. going on a diet and eating healthy and sooner than later I am breaking that resolve, making a mockery of it and doing exactly the opposite i.e eating like a pig! Hmmmm, what does this make me? Weak willed? indecisive? fickle? Or plain human?
Are people capable of changing? Now, I am beginning to believe that they are. For I used to be a very different person before. I had the perseverance, the ability to see through my own decisions, I lived up to my own resolves - now its just the
opposite. I feel I make decisions for the only reason of going back on them, as though, I am poking fun at my own wavering and light-footedness.
Am I setting myself up every time I make up my mind to do something and then go back on it? Do I lack the persistence, and the conviction to see things through? Am I merely a talker and hardly a doer? One who forever makes castles in the air which go poof at the first instance! Or am I only torturing myself by making all these impossible demands on my body and soul?
I want God to show me the right path... I want Him to help me see through whatever it is that I make up my mind to do, be it going on a diet, or taking up a degree, or starting a business, or pursuing a train of thought.... Amen
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