I see clearly, I see people who matter, I see lucidly in the darkness, the reality, I see in front of my eyes all that is hidden in the garish lights of day and nights, I see truth, I see myself as I am and not as I want others to see me. For on closing our eyes to the world around us can make us see what is.
I see my father, I see his face, I see him sitting in his typical manner on the chair in the veranda come rain or shine with a news paper and a cup of tea, occasionally on the phone. I see this image always for that is home and comfort to me, I have walked to him on that terrace hundreds of times and now I want to do that one more time, to go there and hold him, and hold him in such a way so as never to let him go. I am hardly young to cry about a parent, to want his comforting and his presence at all times in my life, but the truth is that I feel vulnerable, I feel acutely the need for him besides me, not to give me strength, for we must and do bear all our burdens alone, but just to exist, and be. He was a part of me, and with him gone that part is missing, I am incomplete and somehow lost, and I want him back so I can feel at ease, so I can sleep in peace knowing he is in his room sleeping and come morning I will be see him, he will be there as large as life itself.
Parents are strange beings, they get under your skin, you may want to forget them but you can't and they continue to influence your life, your feelings, your decisions from beyond.
In darkness, I see people in their true light, with all the masks withdrawn, with all the ugliness of duplicity and hypocrisy exposed, I see how one can be cheated upon in every sense of the word while having one's eyes open at all times, how deceptive our eyes are in fact, and while we think and believe we are watching and therefore aware of it all, we actually know nothing.
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