when I see my son hurt. And hurt he is. How can one hurt a child? and that too one's own parent, what drives us to such passions and inhumane cruelty? Aren't parents supposed to protect and help and move and nurture their children forever and ever? even when they are no longer children?
I have to be do double duty as a father and a mother to Mustafa, and I feel I'm hopeless at it, not that I don't try, I want him to feel loved and accepted and safe and also above blame for anything that has transpired between me and his father. We can't go back its only ahead that we can move and I pray to God that my son is able to cope with this loss the best way he can.
I am particularly angry at his father for bowing out, for taking the easier way out and putting himself above Mustafa, I resent him and hate him for the coward that he is. Perhaps, I was a tyrant and an impossibility to bear with, but then is this the solution? an affair from times when I'm positive our relationship was better.
Well, I have the honor and the distinction of raising him all on my own and I feel God is kind enough to choose me for that all thanks to him. I am fortunate beyond anything for I have my loving son always by my side, I am witnessing his growing up, his life, his feelings, his moods, what great memories am I reaping, is this a heaven, maybe, for all God has taken away from me, he has compensated me immensely in the form of my son.
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