ALWAYS and FOREVER...

I will cherish and love the memory of my father. In fact, I will hold him close to me heart and never let him go. As time takes its strides and moves on, my hold on my father gets stronger and tighter, as though I am afraid to let him out of my sight, of losing him in the tumultuous goings on of time. I hold on to him, his face as it was all my life - strong, smooth, angular, clean shaven and kind of ruddy - and near the end - weak, frail and somewhat sad. I think he knew that time for good byes and final parting is come close, he well accepted it, it was me, who fought that thought, because a life where he wasn't a part of anything just didn't make any sense, as it doesn't make sense now.

I want to keep holding on to you, abba, for I have the strongest of faith in you. You are my peace and my strength. It is in you that I find the courage to carry on and somehow see the lighter side of life, don't know why, as you always were very stern about the issues of life. Yet, you are my source of inspiration to be the best parent that I can ever be to musti. I look at you and the love that you gave me, all of us, the protection and solidity that you provided to us when we were children and now and forever, I want to become the same wall, the same shield, the same force in my son's life. I try to at least.

I want to talk to you for I think you were the only person I respected at heart ( a man) and I valued your judgments over anyone elses anytime and all of the times. You are my mentor, my hero, my idol.

I see you before me vividly, clearly as the times I actually saw you with my eyes. You are fresh and vibrant and yes smiling for you know that I am always and forever are with you and will be so, wherever you are and will be.