I want the world to stop moving.........................

I want the earth to stop its revolution, I want the sun to stop shinning, I want the moon to disappear and never show its face again, I want the heavenly bodies to stop swirling and the laws of nature that keep the universe in balance to collapse! I want COSMOS to transform into CHAOS, I want the end of time to come now, and finish off this business of living and being, to be done away with this burdensome living!

I want time to stop from passing into the next moment. I want the wind to stop blowing, I want rain to stop falling, and a sense of stillness descend on every nook and cranny of this universe, for my father is gone, and I cannot find him, the world cannot go on, the earth cannot move on as though nothing has happened, nature cannot be this insensitive to my misery.

I'm panicking! I think, for I can't breathe, my lungs stifle me, they refuse to take in the air and I pant and gasp! I am falling into a cesspit now, I'm tumbling into a dark well now, I'm sinking in the acrid sea now, I am hyperventilating, I'm dying! I hope I die so this is over and done with.

I give up on pain that has torn me apart, that doesn't let me see, that puts a black dark veil in front of me, I am scared, I'm delusional, for I see people who I'm not supposed to be seeing, I see my father, I see him now, I see him going away from me now, how come he's receding into the background, now I don't see him I panic where is he??? please come one more time for me to see you, to be near you!

I can't breathe!