NOSTALGIA

I crave, I yearn, I wait, I desire, I wish, I hope, I need, I want. What for? U may rightly ask, and my answer would be, I know not. I know not what it is that I'm looking for, what is the urge, what is the urgent propellant force that makes me look perpetually in all odd directions.

It is a craving for something undefined, unintelligible to me, but how can one crave something that one has no knowledge of? So it must be a craving for something experienced in the past maybe in this life or some previous life. I know not. I am convinced that there is a time and a place that I was at in the past or maybe its in the future and for some strange reason I'm to return to that place, that feeling that nuance, that moment in space-time. It is that place that I must direct all my present and future actions towards, my inner compass must point towards that elusive nadir, that misty oasis.

I yearn for that place. It is both a physical entity, an actual place with all the necessary dimensions, and it is a mental state, it is past events all mixed up, the good ones, and the future destinations I want to be at. It is an amalgam of past and future, it is nostalgia for my childhood days and it is a yearning for the days to come. I feel lost in the present, either I want to return or else I want to go, there is no staying.

I wait for it to arrive to me. That point in time where I want to be. I wait all the time, at all times, for all times, for times gone by and times to come.

I desire to be immersed in the fragrance of lost days, the familiar smells of my past and I desire to live the scent of the future. I want to remember what I already have in my mind's eye and relive the days gone and I want to feel the fresh budding scents and flavors of the days to come yet.

I wish I can be there, wherever that secret place is and I hope to be there soon. I need to be there as that is the only place to be.

I want to search for lost time and reminisce in the remembrance of things past..........