GUILTY

Guilt isn't a feeling of incompetency with me, it is a constant state of being. Whatever happens around me somehow provokes a visceral feeling of shame, of being responsible. Now this is a huge burden to carry. 

I don't know about you, but in my world things go wrong because of me. There cannot be another explanation - simple. I have witnessed scenes of melodramatic proportions where the guilty party never, for a moment even, feels guilty. In direct opposition to that even a whisper, a trickle, a hint of action/thought brings about an avalanche of guilt and regret in me. I feel guilty about so many things that I have now lost count. 

Guilt comes in various guises; it is a sense of being liable for actions of not only yourself but those of others also. That if another person makes a mistake, you are somehow to be blamed. It can masquerade in form of fear, a deep fear of doing wrong, of tripping, of falling, of failing. It is always about others judging you and finding you culpable. You are always wrong. It can manifest as regret, regret of not doing all the things one could have. 
Guilt is made up of should've, would've, why nots and if nots.