UNCOMFORTABLY sad feelings, being let down, betrayal, broken trusts, hopelessness, frustrations, anxiety, anger, resentment, all make us want to 'run away,' - to a place where we can escape these negative emotions and live again. We endeavour to create distance from whatever is making life difficult for us. We believe that by changing our position in terms of place and time we will be able to overcome undesirable emotions. It is natural, almost instinctive to avoid pain and seek pleasure. And it is this avoidance of pain and misery which makes us believe that to 'go' somewhere other than where we are will help rid us from all that we do not want to feel and face.
But, unfortunately, 'running away' isn't an option. We all know deep down that no matter how hard we try to deny our negative and difficult feelings they find a way to reach us, because what we 'feel' stays with us, no matter how far away we may travel in terms of miles. They say that the more we try and dodge our feelings of anger, pain, worry, the bigger they become, undealt feelings take a toll on our bodies and our minds, they are a cancer of sorts that kill softly and silently.
Hence, the best way to handle pain, loss, grief, anger, anxiety is to face it head-on. It doesn't mean that we wallow in self-pity rather it refers to using the same difficult feelings to understand ourselves. It is a common dictum of Wisdom taught over centuries - suffering makes us stronger, it leads to looking internally and understanding one's own vulnerability and humanity, it makes us empathetic towards others and generate feelings of kindness and solidarity for those who suffer.
Leaving, running away, ignoring, denying what gives us pain is a sure way to make it stick with us even more pressingly.
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