At odds with ONESELF

I am a cauldron of, to it mildly, a witch's brew that's boiling at high temperatures, and is sputtering and spilling at the edges with burning splashes splattering all over the place. Ya, its messy business... this,  being me

Do you ever fight with yourself? blame yourself? accuse yourself? and put yourself in the dock opposite an imagined all pervasive and attentive jury to pass a crucial sentence on yourself?

I'm not sure how many people are prone to this malady, but, I at times find myself completely at odds with myself. I feel there are two persons inside of who are having it out, at my expense! (then that would make it three, wouldn't it?) There is complete discord in my soul, a breakdown of communication, of ideas, it seems at such dark interludes that reason has abandoned me and left me wandering alone in the midst of some black forest. I can't find a way out and keep going around in circles till I get even more agitated and alarmed, and every sound, every noise, every little whisper is enough to make me jump a hundred feet off the ground.

I envy the sorted out souls. Those who know their minds, their emotions, their feelings, nah, the ones who can with assured assurance predict their own behaviour in times to come based on perhaps errr their past actions?... Hell! no such luck comes my way.