Things I wish to do before I die.......or MY 'BUCKET LIST'

It is become something of a fad now. I mean to have a bucket list of one's own, and to think of it, I didn't know what the term referred to a few months back. I actually didn't. People have always nursed wishes and desires for things that remain elusive in life; somehow outside reach. There is a romantic, rather, a nostalgic obsession about everything we cannot have; Starting from heaven to times gone by. People lost, and gone forever, conversations happened, moments fleeted - all those which seems unattainable in the present.

As I listened to my friends tell me of their wish-lists, their bucket-lists so to say; it got me thinking. What if I knew that I had a fixed time on this earth, and with the clock ticking what would be the wishes I would want fulfilled before I depart. And I came up with the following: (note of caution - my list might not be a tad boring to the movers and shakers of the hip people of today, but then again, I can't help being the boring me that I am!)



Watch my son grow into a good human being that he is now, kind, loving, sensitive, happy and content, satisfied with himself and and what comes his way, in tune with others around him, oblivious of class and status in his heart and manner, big-hearted, and giving. Watch him have a family of his own, and see him be a good husband and a doting father.

It is an arrogant wish. Nonetheless, I want to change someone's life for the better. For me the ideal person to save would be a child who can neither defend himself, nor realize he is being dealt with cruelty; at times by the very people who ought to safeguard and love him.



Yes. Instead of endlessly traversing the trodden paths, I want to walk down my own way. I want a life different from others; defined by terms that make sense to me, set in motion by feelings that stir my soul, and kept alive because of the energy the it derives from both.



The ancient Greeks believed that Humans were initially born complete. They were self contained with a male and a female sex in one body. As a punishment for some discretion the pagan Gods ordered them severed, hence the subtraction of sexes: male, female, androgynous. In his famous Dialogues Plato describes Love as the quest for this severed 'other half'. It is in this quest of our 'soul mate' that we go on misadventures of the loving kind. Was Plato's Greek speakers right? Is there my other half roaming the streets of this world somewhere? If so I would love to meet that person.



Go live in a forest. I want to experience closeness with nature, be alone with the silence, the power, the smell, the dampness, the cold, the placidity of trees and ravines, of murmurings of tall trees in the wind, of constant dripping of rain drops, of walking amongst foliage, of drenching my eyes with deep greens of nature, and breathing ever easy in the open air.



Write a bestseller.



I have so many fears. I suppose that comes with being alive; but being human is conciousness at another level (though now challenged by some scientists who think even matter is concious). I am scared of tangible realistic phenomena such as lizards, being violated, being abandoned. And additionally I suffer from perpetual paranoia called known as 'fear of the unknown' the 'what if' factor. It's hard for me to categorically pinpoint what exactly it is I'm scared of here, but a multitude of fears assail me from all sides...inexplicable dangers, evil portents, dark forebodings, messages of doom, nightmares, intuitions, gut feelings, queasiness, anxiety all foretell of hell going loose on me. I want to be able to go beyond that before I die. Live despite the fears, nay, live beyond them.



Travel the world and seven seas.... for
Sweet dreams are made of this.....




Yes! Infinity and Eternity are two concepts that elude and fascinate me endlessly, infinitely and eternally. They symbolize my belief that life, and our being has a purpose, and those who are lost to us today will join us tomorrow at another turn.



But I want to!!!!!!!!! I love physics. I want to solve all that's mysterious and unknown. I want to explain the world through quantum physics, and string theory. I viscerally need to get the purity and beauty of mathematical explanations.



I love the Russian novel, the Russian spirit, the Russian reason, and its take on life. My passion is Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Gogol, Turgenev, and Chekov. I yearn for Tsarist Russia (how silly) and its vastness, Siberia and its deadly loneliness, the steppes, its peasants and the sheer ability of its writers to see through human nature.



Visit Athens and Rome! Goes without saying. I have to see with my own eyes, feel under my feet the ground, touch with my hands the walls, breathe the very air of the cities that housed my heroes such as Homer, Sophocles, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Virgil, Marcus Aurelius, Cicero.





Get a Phd in Philosophy and English Literature.



Dwell in Art History, go to Museums, collect art, study art, learn about artists.



What would it feel like?

I just realized something. At the beginning of this blog I wrote if 'I knew my time on this Earth is fixed', of course, it's fixed! What kind of sheer denial am I living in? why do we have to wait for god forbid some calamity to strike us to value our time here, and appreciate life? How silly are we? the clocks are ticking.... so we must do what all we can to live fully. And finally on a rather shallow note, have my own vintage shabby chic home store..Vintage Galore (pure delight!)