Difficult Turn?


Why does it have to happen? Why does it have to happen to me or to someone I love so dearly? Why do I have to face this awful truth? And if God is so malevolent or indifferent to let this happen then why has he created man? For what purpose are we here in this world? why? what? and where is all this heading?

Whenever some startling event occurs in our lives we begin to question our very purpose and the reason for existence. We in so many words start to think that perhaps 'not-being' would be a better option since 'being' involves engaging with others, and that entails emotions; complicated emotions like love, trust, expectations, and hope. We go about living our days in usual busyness, but the minute something shakes us out of our drudgery and lethargy, and reminds us of our mortality and of those around us, we at once begin to become anxious and uncomfortable.... I wonder why?

It is strange that one thing that is most assured us, that we are certainly certain of; we deny its existence and its presence in our lives at all times. Only when we are faced with sickness of a serious kind, or have a loved one suffer from pain, or disease or lose a dear one to death do we rub our eyes and get shell shocked into facing non-existence... a concept virtually and viscerally alien to us. Our culture, our way of life, our modes, our view of things and how we perceive what is, have no place for us 'not-being-there'. We have a vision of a place without reference to us or those whom we love. This world, this country, this city, this street, this house, this room, this daily living has no meaning if I am not there or my close ones aren't there!

And this is where we have severed ourselves from that very important part of our selves, our spiritual side. I believe we have a tangible existence, we live in a physical body which is made up of atoms and other parts of matter: physical compounds. But then we also have a very potent part of us which is intangible - our soul, our spirit - that I in all of us that is so separate from the mind, the I that knows that there is a mind which is doing the thinking apart from that I. Yes, what Descartes' was trying to say by his famous dictum 'ergo dictum sum' I think therefore I am. The aborigines of Australia, the Native Americans of North America, the Indians in South Americas, the African of the Congo and the Dark Continent all have a real relationship with death. Death is not a pariah amongst them as it is in our world. We condemn the dead, as if they are lost forever, gone, finished, kaput which might be in part due to the advancement of scientific theories which emphasis the loss of material parts of body after death. Of course the material part dissipates, in fact, it does not, for matter cannot be ever destroyed. It only changes shape. So our bodies merely change forms once dead. But what about the spirit? what of the part that isn't material to begin with? where does that go? wouldn't it be logical to deduce that it stays intact and the same, just in another realm or perhaps in another container? In our so called civilized world talking of our annihilation is taboo, we don't encourage discussion on such uncomfortable issues, for we don't like 'iffy' answers, we want to be certain, to be sure, to be exact and precise.

Well, welcome to life! real life is neither certain, nor sure-footed, nor exact or precise at any given moment. We cannot be sure about anything in life. This doesn't make hearing and bearing losses and pain any easier,it merely means we understand our temporality a little better. We begin to see, if not accept, that we are mortal, we aren't permanent and we cannot expect ourselves to remain the same forever unchanged and unharmed by the vestiges of time and circumstance. If not fearing death and complete dissolution seems impossible a task, at least, a close familiarity with passing away and death is essential. I know people to whom it is an anathema to visit a grave of a loved one, for cemeteries depress them! I want to know Why? I find them most peaceful and serene. And why be uncomfortable in a place which we all are sure to be in one day or another?

My dearest friend, death and life, are in the hands of God and as we believe come at a pre-destined time and manner.... what we have is the power of prayer and hope. I also believe in a love so powerful that it diffuses a halo of healing warmth and rays. I feel you have such love emanating from you and it will carry you far on its wings which are spread wide...... my wishes, prayers and hopes are with you at this difficult turn which will open onto a beautiful secret garden IA.... all the best.








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