sometimes I YEARN for...

for my most fantastical wishes to come true, and my nightmares to recede in the background

for life to be easy, without complications

for people to be gentle and kind and loving from the bottom of their hearts

for my parents to come back

for a hero to walk into my life, a prince whose cinderella I can be, a knight in shinning armour who saves me from distress

for a love that has no bars, no ifs, no buts, no maybes, no hopefully, a love that is now and for certain

for life to be the way I wanted it to be, not that I now remember how I wanted it... huh?

for the good old days - which never were, how weird is that? a heart to heart

for complete freedom - from desire, from wanting of all kinds, from the urge of 'having'

for just being myself at all times without any pretense

for having the courage

to fly

to runaway

to be with the one I want to be with, at all times
to be able to write something truly magnificent
to feel elated
for a house in the mountains on the edge of a lake, serenity, peace, quiet, healing
time - to heal, to forget, to forego, to let go, to cut-off ties, to say final good-byes, to turn again and to turn around, to think back, to regret, to overcome the guilt, to stop reliving the past, to plod on...

space - to grow, to breathe easy, to exhale and let myself go, for a personal sanctuary, for a blessed home, to be who I am without having to feel apologetic.
true friends
people who stay constant and true to their word
my son to fall in love with books
the power never to get cut off
for life to go as planned - and a plan for life
for a massive collection of art
for material things
a beautiful home
appreciation
love
good company
having the art of being more worldly and being soft spoken and ultra sweet and polite??
being optimistic
stupidity
the art of diplomacy and sychophancy
knowing what happens after you die
a piece of heaven
just a good meal and a nice nap
no one to bother me
solitude
lots of money
venegance
vindication
annihilation
excitment
exuberance
wonderlust
getting wet in the summer rains
some good old times
maddening stories
shocking anecdotes
sheer gossip
small talk
that one person....