and I say Goodbye....

There are moments and then there are moments; we linger: we wait: we think to ourselves this is it we were waiting for all our lives, we stumble, and ascertain our transient feelings as written in stone, we are won over to the other side, we are completely convinced of fate swaying in our favor and stars swinging to up the ante for us! for once! we decide life is good and worth living. And just when we start to get comfortable with the idea, and begin to open up with heavy hearts and laden steps, and quivering breath, when we start to delve into our secrets and catacombs that have laid buried and hidden for years, when we begin to let others in slightly, only barely - there comes a blind shock! a sudden jerk! a violent invisible slap! a thunderous clap! screeching hollowing and howling! What am I doing? Why am I baring myself to someone? why and what for? is there sense in this? when the future is not to be or never to be, when present is not and cannot be, when past never was then I ask myself why am I standing where I am? what does this mean? is this an illusion? is this a 'mirage' is this what one calls self-deception? perhaps it's all of these....so what does one do in this case? Perhaps, say Goodbye.

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