Imagine the possibility? What if my son (when he reaches the marriageable age) wants to marry a gori? like an English or an American woman? What would be my reaction? Would all my claims to liberality go flying out the window and I would turn into this desi conservative mom who is direly worried (and rightly so) about the future of his son's life and his progeny. When I am asked this question now (and mind you he is 13 at the moment) I magnanimously reply 'oh, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all, its his life', really!!!! But to be honest I haven't actually thought about this possibility in detail as an actual happening event - so in a way I don't really consider that something remotely close to it can ever (in my lifetime and beyond) happen! So much for being liberal and open minded.
Will I seriously have an issue? I don't know. Now that I have taken time to ponder on this issue what would it feel like never being able to communicate with her in our language and share the nuances, the jokes, the culture, the rituals, what is done and not done? having to explain every little thing (that is if she'd like to know) It would if nothing else be extremely tiresome and for someone like me very exhausting.
Then comes the age-old question of religion and what will the children follow, of course they can't really be educated by their mother in Islamic injunctions so then? will they grow up following another religions whose tenets are alien to me? and would that create a huge rift between us. All this distance of common customs, traditions, beliefs, core values will grow wider and wider as they grow older into their own persons.
And what of my only son? How would I communicate and relate to him when his family is so distant to me and what all I consider important and significant? This is all plausible and very likely to happen but I would still be there for my son if he wants to marry a gori, kali, choti, moti whoever (oh God please!!! let me have that courage)
For I sincerely hold this to be true - that you have to find your own happiness, and if its in being with 'a' person so be it, the very fact that that person doesn't fit in the perfect image in someone else's mind should not let you detract from your destiny and true love. I would hope my son finds the kind of love that only the luckiest people find in this world and it can be any shape or color or form!! - for that is the least of my concerns!
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