How silly of me at times! I actually forget to write down the happenings of the day - not that much is happening in my day to begin with. But, then there are always two kinds of actions and events, those that are really taking place in the world out there and in which we find ourselves involved and those that stay within the four walls of our minds from which we can never extricate ourselves. It is the latter that takes up most of my day and most of my energy.
I think a lot. Well we all do I suppose, but I go a step or two froward and live in my own little world, a world of my imaginings, of my dreams, of what and how things ought to be, of what I would be if that world really comes into existence. Is this good or bad? I wouldn't be able to answer that for I am a partisan in this case.
My tutoring sessions with Musti are going very well, albeit the arguments and the occasional fights that we have over how much and how long to study. Our children are there to test the limits of our patience and test they do!
Am I the only one who forgets how lucky we are and how thankful we ought to be to God or do we all suffer from this delusion that what we have is never enough and what we don't have is a cruel punishment for us. Just think about it, having clean drinking water is an absolute luxury in our part of the world when more than half of the population goes without access to potable water. How can we live in such proximity to sheer misery in form of abject poverty, hunger, homelessness and crime and yet be so negligent of appreciating all what we have by the good fortune and blessings of God to enjoy? I hate sermons and sermonizing of any sort and for a while there I sounded a bit like an evangelist from Hell, but seriously, think about it, when I see small children naked and drugged being lugged about these beggar women on every signal, when I see children barely able to talk beg for food on the streets, when I see very old people limping away looking with vacant and sad eyes at every passer by for a cent or so, my heart just cries. Of course, we are all desensitized by these very familiar and trite sights now, we have lived and grown up with them, they make up our landscape and our horizon, that is how we know our cities and our own people. Yet, there comes a time in a day or so when one sits back and ponders over as to why there is so much of misery and pain and suffering in this world all around us, and why do children have to be at the receiving end? It is then I hate myself for my petty concerns and trifle needs, it is then I consider myself all full of air and nothing substantial.
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