Journal entry No.21,18/Mar/2012




At times life just passes on without any particular direction, not that when we believe it is going towards a certain defined end it is necessarily doing that. The winds blow and howl and swirls of dust gather up with anger and throw their gritty hands on all around us, it's a strange and vacant night, with roaring winds and a scent of thunder in the air.

I haven't stepped out of the house today, and it's such a good feeling to be home all day long basically doing nothing. I am probably the world's laziest person but then why should I really care?

Have you ever tried reading about the First World War? I mean it's confusing to say the least - who is allied with whom, why the war starts in the first place? how do you explain to a 12 year old that we don't want to side with Germans, somehow we can't even today, looking back, but then he wants to be on the side of the victors! how many countries are there in the first place that want to jump in and why is everyone declaring war on everyone else? Could there have been more madness than this Great War, millions dead all for what? And then we think we are heading towards more depravity, well I say if you read history you'd know that we have hit the lows of the lowest quite a few times and what's happening now has happened before.

I have this uncanny realization that I am unable to make any decisions now, I just can't decide on any course of action, I do what comes naturally, I just don't now have a plan. Do most people operate on default like I do, or do they chart out their voyages for themselves? am I destined to forever run wild in the catacombs and dungeons of my mind and never emerge?

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