Only a few compulsive-obsessive types would know of what I mean by the disappearing act, it's not the hustler's way of avoiding people, not at all, it is an obsessive need to 'be left alone', an inability to open up to certain person at a particular point in time. It's hardly planned, in fact, it is chaotic and the urge to disappear from someone's life is so urgent, so pressing, that it takes over precedence over all. I have these strange monstrous vile moods, it's not hatred, it's not manifest dislike, it is rather a shutting out of a part of my life, closing down a door, blocking a way.
The need to shut a person out, or to put it another way, disappear from that person's life descends on me slowly, it creeps when I find it almost impossible to talk to that person, to communicate, it is as though, all bridges to that person close down or break up. I don't know why this happens. But, it does happen and happens with different people at different times.
When I feel that the boundaries of my person, of myself, of who I am are being treaded upon, when someone pushes me in a corner, when expectations from me raise to a level I cannot put up with - I freeze and retreat.
Does this happen with other people?
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