It happens to me. This maddening disconnect from the world around me, this complete separation from myself, this deep abyss that takes the place between me and my body. I float as though I am out of my body, I have no connection to my corporal being, who I am in space is totally far away, disjointed to who I seem to be to other people in this world of senses and objects. The matter in me, the stuff I am made of, is as foreign to me as the stuff of dreams.
At times I feel completely overwhelmed, almost as though I'm drowning in my own feelings and emotions, as if the tide of my feelings have broken all dams and all dykes and has plunged me into a deluge of heavy sentiments. This is a time where I am very much a part of the active social world, I am very much what one would call 'normal' in the common sense of the word, but, ironically it is only when I am seemingly normal that storms of all magnitude whip my being from the very core and shatter me from within.
I am unable to process my thoughts, I am unable to read, I am unable to write and concentrate on any one thing, and yes I am unable to work. I feel a heavy burden perched on my very chest nagging at me, scratching at my wounds, hurting me, lashing at my inner soul. What is it that bothers me so? What are the things that create a rift within me? what is that deep chasm that cuts through me? what is it that separates my body from my soul?
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