At times we look at something in the present, in the here and now, and know very keenly that the moment is fleeting. That before we can actually grasp the 'now' it has already transformed into the distant future which will materialize in due time, but is there hovering in our peripheral vision...like a mirage, there; but not quite there.
This is especially true of people, people who are ageing and who carry with them the impending grim reaper snickering in the shadows, holding their coats, ready to take them away on their last and final journey. And, sitting, in the the present, this omnipresence of a time that hasn't yet arrived but is soon to arrive is so very sad. We know that what we have is not going to last long, our loved ones who are real and breathing today would not be in this state, would not be there for us to touch, hear and feel.
It is also true of people who are far away, and before leaving your side have already slid into another plane of existence which is far and away from where you are. Do they then exist, exist as you think they are? or do they in that distant 'then' take on another form alien to the the one you are familiar with.
The present then is what? How can we be sure of what is what we call 'now?' what separates it from the 'then' of the past and the future? I haven't yet found a clue, sometimes I feel I am living in some distant future of my days, days that I thought I will experience or perhaps were scared of experiencing? At times I feel that the conversations and laughter and situations of 'now' are actually me reminiscing about my life in some distant future time where I am old and alone (just not lonely, and have the time in the world to reflect and rethink)
Who can then tell me what is now and what was and what is to come? aren't they all jumbled up in ball hard for us to separate just as putty of different colors join together to form one shaded whole.
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