The Singles Scene

Man! errrr.............. there is desperation doing the rounds in the dark somber, moonless muggy nights in Karachi. Yes, if you are single (ahem?) and you are hopeful (hard state to be in if you are alone,) life seems somewhat desolate sans a partner! uffff how tedious and tiresome this word 'partner' sounds at the end of it all! A business partner or a dance partner is fine, but, hellooo, a life-partner?? How stupid and silly - a search for the one person who would light your lights literally amongst 'damaged' souls.

Rejected women, dumped women, unhappy frustrated men who loathe the relationships they find themselves in, weary married women, divorced men and women who to date haven't a clue why their marriages fell apart and why their spouses left them. Scarred women, who have been habitually and repeatedly abused and beaten by their lovers and husbands, all, searching for love, for attention, for affection, basically for acceptance.

Men and women searching for Validation. The singles, the outcast, the leftover, the forgotten, the rejected and used-up and then thrown away - such are the people who make up the singles scene in this society. They are well past their 'use-by' dates, their faces lined and their souls shriveled, their feelings dried up, their hearts turned to stone, and their personality all cynical - they go out - ironically and look for love, for unconditional admittance in a relationship with another, they look to find that elusive of all things LOVE with another. It seems that second or third time around one seeks love with an intense fervor, much deeper and stronger than when one is younger, for the need for such love becomes all the more deep driven and focused.

Why after failing to find solace with one person, be it in a relationship or marriage, do the same failed people go looking for another such union? Is it because humans need this kind of intimate bonding? very well could be the case - I mean, blame it all on biology, lay the whole schpeel at the foot of science, genetics, DNA and anatomy and natural primal needs. Do we need to go through this trouble? I doubt it somehow. I think the human soul is afraid, has many fears, primal, instinctual, and human. The main fear is of annihilation. Of death, of not existing. And this main fear creates a huge sense of insecurity amongst humans, much more than animals, for animals are not conscious of being conscious as humans are. We examine our own awareness, we know that there is this 'I' that is conscious, and is separate from that state of consciousness.

And it is this "I" that wants acknowledgment. It isn't enough to be merely alive - to breathe and eat and sleep - no, human being's first and foremost need is to be needed by another. And what better way of showing that dependence on another besides LOVE. When we pronounce that we love another person we mean exactly that - our reliance on that person, our interaction with that person. We choose one over many to build that close bond with, because we need to unfold our lives in the presence of another who means something to us.

We want to our lives to be witnessed by others. We want the stamp of approval of another close person, our successes, our trials and tribulations, our failures even, need to be seen and commented by an empathic another who can help us through the winding path of life.

And hence, the eternal search for that one person of the opposite sex (generally) to share our lives with, to make a companion of, to befriend!