Over the counter drugs - prescription drugs sold in Pakistan without a doctor's permission - are abused by the post-modern women of today's upper middle class and the upper class. Why do I say by women especially, because I have noticed this unhealthy trend in women who are apparently educated (have a degree) quite comfortable financially either on account of family or personal resources or a lucrative job, they are fashionably dressed, well traveled, and very open to the world. These are the post modern era women of Pakistan, the ladies who lunch and brunch, who are well-spoken, and have a spark of intelligence. Some are running successful businesses, others are holding good jobs and yet others are doing well for themselves in some field or the other. They are the women of the top echelons of Pakistani society, having an edge over their counterparts all over the country - these women have it good.
These are also the women who are most depressed, most harrowed, most irritable, and very very sad and unhappy deep down! WHY???? It beats me every time I come across another one of such 'weeping beauties,' why are the Pakistani well to do modern woman so unhappy in her life? what is she missing and why? what is causing her the distress that she is facing in life?
These are also the same women who abuse prescription drugs available randomly in Pakistan. These ladies self-prescribe such heavy drugs such as Xanax, Lexotanil, Diazapam/Ativan, and other various muscle relaxants and sleep inducing pills. These meds are usually given to patients for various nervous conditions and must be only taken under the advice of a doctor. No such formality required here in this free for all country, the pills are available at every corner store and one can mix a cocktail of the same in whichever way one wants - the result - a certain percentage of the female populace constantly dazed, spaced out, zombied by the effects of such pills and that is a pathetic site. Women, especially rich, cultivated, educated women are feeling deeply under the sun, very depressed in Pakistan for a myriad of reasons, and the more I try to ponder and research into this topic I find that, the unhappiness of all such women is related mostly to one constant factor - yes, their relationships, and most of all their relationships with men!
So we have spaced out women, in semi-consciousness doing the rounds of the city, they are unhappy because they don't have a man who loves and dotes on them, spoils them rotten, indulges them and cares to spend quality time in praising them and talking to them. They are unhappy for they may have a man in their life but he fails to do the afore-mentioned things in their honor. They are unhappy because the man in their life is not only not nice to them, he is out rightly crass, abusive and mean and sometimes even dangerous to them! The bottom line being - MAN causing stress and anxiety in their life and there fore pushing them to abuse drugs - to stay in a state of fugue, of sleepiness, of half-wakefulness, of being of this world and then not of this world, of keeping one's mind and emotions in suspension, in limbo, in a sort of a frozen state, if you will. These women don't want to face up to what's all wrong in their lives, or even if there is anything actually wrong with them.
My being reverberates with sob-stories, with never-finished love stories, with tales of unrequited love, with yarns of unfaithfulness, of deception, of abandonment, of desertion, of love that has gone awry or just gone kaput! Is it something to do with being a woman - that we love to mourn, sulk, nurse our wounds and carry them raw and open as trophies to show-off to the world? I am serious here, no sarcasm intended! WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? Why are we so hung up on our relationships or lack of them to men around us? Why is it that to feel loved and wanted by a man becomes the only reason for existence in a woman's life after a certain age - usually the age when the chances of this becoming a reality are getting slimmer and slimmer!
As normal human beings we are obviously attracted to the opposite sex and crave for companionship and of course look for a perfect mate ( all that is pure nature.) But, what in case things do not go smooth as it generally happens in life. People change, their love and its intensity wavers, real-life comes into play, children and other responsibilities take precedence over personal needs. And this takes a toll on our women - who are bound mostly to the one man allotted to her lot by the society. She does not have the freedom to go out and pick and choose mates as and when she desires like western women. She must either make the best of what comes her way, or take a risk by taking unconventional steps such as divorce, an extra-marital affair, an affair with a married man, a marriage with an already married man, and all this living against the norms of goodness as defined by a society tends to eventually take a toll on her mental health. And this depression, weepiness, loneliness, this cast-off feeling, the guilt all play up her emotions and she takes refuge in downing these so called 'happy pills' not really understanding the health risks and dangers!
Why do our women fall in this trap? Why abuse ourselves when MEN are mean to us is my question? It is alright to feel sad, but why pine for something that cannot give fulfillment for though trite and cliched its hundred percent true - no one else can make us happy (our children excluded) because we have or not have that ability in us, all we need is the power to harness that resource. I am not advocating zero interaction with men, nor am I propounding that all heterosexual relations are warped, not at all, what I am suggesting is this - there are people on the margins of society, like women whose relations with men fail or somehow fall apart and they drift all over the place trying to find another 'perfect' mate which is never easy and hence the frustrations and feelings of disgust and hopelessness and reversion to drugs. Why can't our women fall on reading books about life, on life, on philosophy for if nothing else they will open and widen their horizons make them understand what life is from other people's perspective and maybe lift them from their deep immersion into their own selves and their petty issues.
Ladies! A plea from this humble person, please, do not waste your precious emotions and feelings on "love" and trying to find it for it does not really exist. I mean the kind of love you're looking for doesn't happen other than in stories, so get your mind high on better things such as some good works of art and literature and trust me - you'd be HIGH on LIFE for life.... good luck!
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