Can't WRITE!

Just when I think I have loads to say, so much to write about, so many things to question; my mind goes blank.

Is this a professional hazard? But, then, I am hardly a what you call a professional writer, I write more for myself than for anyone else (though that cannot be totally a true statement for we all want that validation from others and hence the publication and postings.)

Our mind is a strange thing, it plays serious tricks on us, it has a separate entity from the I that inhabits our bodies, the I may want to do something but the mind may and does revolt and not follow through. So, I cant concentrate, cannot make lucid sentences, don't have a thread of thoughts, all is jumbled up, mixed in, hard to set apart and see for itself, my mind then is a witch's brew in the making. Yes, evil thoughts frequent my mind is this vacuous state, all kinds of depraved images flutter my mind' eyes, people killing each other, people suffering ordeals, people dying and crying and what not. What is this strange phenomenon? Why is it that we are bombarded with very many undefined, unconnected thoughts, things that consciously we aren't even taking in? Is it the signals we are getting from around us? from the people that are in proximity to us, or is it our perceptions of these people and our surroundings that is shaping our world in various forms. Its simply hard to tell.

I think of so many things at the same time, that too is an extraordinary feature of whatever this machine is that we call brain or a place we call mind. Is mind situated in the brain and if yes, then where is it exactly? and we all know very well that the organ 'brain' has no identified place or organ which is the 'mind', where thoughts are seen processed, where thinking can be objectified and observed. For all the achievements of science, mind still remains an elusive and a mysterious quantity. We don't know where the mind is or what is it in simple and exact terms. Thoughts are supposed to be present in the electric currents that run through nerves 'the neuro-transmitters' helping in thoughts passing from one organ to another in the body forming a chain of electric currents. But, the I is not found anywhere inside us in spatial and objective terms.

Just suppose for a second only, what if this acknowledgment of self, this I that we call us, that we associate with ourselves and that isn't to be found temporally or otherwise in our bodies or outside of them, what if, this I just wasn't? I mean what if this concept of 'me' is a trick of the brain itself and there is no I separate from the brain and the mind? What if we are mere delusions of our thoughts and have taken on a larger than life role, but in actuality, may amount to nothing? What if that was the truth? then what?

I am not negating the ego, I am not declining the importance of self, I am (the same elusive me) merely trying to put forward an electric current translated as this thought string which says what if this I that I am wielding now and then for all to see and admire just isn't. Just doesn't exist. What then? What are we then is what I want to know?