The Question of Lucidity?

When do we know that we know? when is the moment when things become clear, lucid, and transparent? when do we understand in life?

That is the question. Our urge to know is all consuming, we want to be aware and awake to all that happens inside us and outside of us, yet we hardly know anything. And what we see, hear, think is all variable, changing, effervescent, here one minute gone the next. So, then what keeps us sane and lucid? what keeps us on our keel, balanced to make our way through the thrashing waves of life. How do we conclude that we are sane that what and how we see things is the way they ought to be seen and understood, how do we know that there isn't another equally valid way to explain things, events, relations.

I have come to this turn in life, all through thinking, assuming that what I did at that particular moment was the right and logical thing to do, and now with the luxury of time I realize that it may not have been the case. When we look back to what was, we analyze our actions, our motives and with the advantage of time and future on our side we pronounce judgments on our earlier assumptions and beliefs on the basis of which we acted then. And we become advocate and judge in the cases of our own life forever condemning our own previous selves.

I want complete lucidity, not a dream-like state of knowledge, I am dying to know what my past held, and what future is going to unfold for me.....