How do you run from yourself?

Is there a prescribed way in which you can literally escape yourself? I mean step out from your body and your ever persistent thoughts? Or is it only death that disembodies us and that too who really knows.

I sit here with my thoughts, they traverse every where, I'm hardly conscious of the fact that I'm thinking. What is it that criss-cross my mind at all times. Random strings of disjointed memories, that which is left behind when 'now' becomes 'then'. Mere images, crackled and faded, old and fragmented.

Why do I remember what I remember, and have forgotten what I have. I want to remember what I don't, all that I have somehow relegated to the unconscious side of my brain. I'm told that there is such a side, maybe sub-conscious would be better name for it, but then isn't it the same thing. I want to go back and take apart my life from the beginning, live out every detail, or at least see it again as if I'm watching a movie, not actually in person experiencing those events, rather as an onlooker looking from outside into the life of another.

Would that quench my thirst? would then I know where I am coming from and how I got to where I am? Do we need the past to decipher the present? How do we detangle our lives and understand it in sequence like a book, chapter by chapter, in sequence, is it the way to know what happened.

I want to be outside, beyond, beside, and standing next to myself, to be able to see myself as I really am, or at least the way I seem to be to others. What has become of me and why and how are what I want to know.