OH LORD IN HEAVEN, I PRAY AND BESEECH YOU TO KEEP ME SAFE FROM THE COMPANY OF A BORING MAN!
YES, this is my prayer to the good lord today. I need protection, some kind of talisman, a supplication, an intercession of saints to keep me safe and sound, and my self away and my ears closed to the constant jarring of relentlessly repeated anecdotes, stories, questions, statements and what have you. A boring woman is at the most, vapid, she has nothing to say, she may harp on her parochial and limited existence, talk incessantly of her 'adorable' children or bitch about her husband and the in laws. All this is bearable because no matter how much we may deny it its all a part of life, the mundane along with the exciting. But an uninteresting man is a torture of a different level.
A boring man isn't just quite or limited in his conversation ( god if that were his only fault we'd bear him with open arms!) he is a moron of the highest order, and has no clue, no indication, no idea what so ever of his own inane and thoroughly irritating personality. The ultimate joke is that instead of being aware of his limitation as potential good company, he is deluded into thinking and believing in his own popularity. He is convinced that people want him around and not only quite but talking volubly of all matters petty, stupid, and totally irrelevant. He has absolutely nothing to say and yet he will always tell you to give him your undivided attention as he will tell something of great significance!!! its always, "let me tell you this", or "listen to me" or "I'll tell you" or the best "I need to discuss something important with you" HELL WHAT???? I'm not interested! and man isn't it bloody obvious?
Another trait of this tiresome bloke is that at every occasion he will park himself beside you, UFFF, and while every ones is having a ball of a time you'd be stuck with him slobbering and going on and on about what I haven't a clue! It is pathetic, this man, I mean and the spectacle he makes of himself. He also suffers from a case of egoism as all other men, but with his boring character, the mix is totally unbearable. Imagine a non-entity telling you non-stop stories of his imagined grandeur, its not even funny, its just enough to push you off a cliff. He thinks you're interested in listening to his daily routine, huh?? and what he did like at one time or another in his life and I'm talking long, hard-to-follow yarns! NOOOOOOO!
So, please GOD of the Universe and beyond protect me from the anguish inflicted by this heathen being and somehow transport all the boring men from my life to my parallel self in the parallel universe, because I've had enough!
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