Is a journey long and treacherous, winding dark and dreary, populated with ghouls and fiends, with furies left lose to tasks unholy, with heart rending shrieks of sirens and calypso like beings that entangle one for years on keeping imagination captive.
Hell is the last destination, the last stop. And the end is worse than the way.
I have been to Hell, and I live to tell the meanderings of the arduous way and its terrible end. The way to hell originates from the broken heart. A broken heart isn't a metaphor for me, it is exactly what it means a heart cracked and broken into little pathetic pieces never to be joined again, just as a a broken glass vase. Yes, that's how it is, its broken beyond repair, one can pick up the pieces, try to salvage the damage, mend it somehow but there are those visible cracks, and then even after the patching up and joining it looks and feels disjointed, no, kind of a funny replica of its earlier beautiful self. A heart once broken can never be mended. It can never be itself again.
From this forsaken and desolate place begins the journey to the center of the earth, to hell, to Hades, to despair. Once, you start on this journey, that is get on the road it lures you deeper and deeper within it. You know how dangerous it is to go on, yet, you are compelled to go on. There are the wails of the sirens that mesmerize you, bewitch you, enchant you to go on, to take one murky step after another..... you just cannot stop. As you progress on the road to hell, you start to forget, sort of like crossing the mythic river of Lethe! you begin to be drowsed, to be drugged in the magical potions of forgetfulness, of amnesia, of fugue. On way to hell, you leave your old self discarded behind, like a snake shedding his skin, the only difference being that the new emerging self isn't clean and fresh as in the case of the aforementioned snake, it is rather a moulting, a coming into a depraved self, an incarnation of self into a diabolical being. On way to hell you must transform, you must transmute into a lower self, into your demonic self. The path winds down, and you similarly go down to the shadowy side of yourself.
How does this shadowy side manifest itself on the outside? does one start to look like the devil? hardly, in fact the outside glitters like gold, while the inside rots like a fetid wound oozing with pus. A person on way to hell is a person depressed, sad and lonely. He is desolate beyond hope! and that's is what I have felt, the lonely shadows of darkness where every day is like the dark night, and every night a stormy angry monstrosity that must be passed or rather surpassed.
HELL itself is a place of sheer pain, a pain so intense that it numbs to itself and all other feelings. You think you are still alive, a part of a body, a feeling that can be trampled, and yet you are beyond all feelings. You are numb. Hopelessly numb!
Once you have entered hell all ways back are sealed forever. Eternity in hell is akin to living a life in pain, in anguish, of wishing for things to be a certain way, of looking for those who are lost to oblivion, of wanting to be free from the constant weight of the shackles that bind you, and yet you are there, stuck, fixated, like a fly in a cobweb slowly dying a horrible death!
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