So many of them, besieging me, creeping up my mind, invading my dreams, haunting my thoughts - wants and desires. I'm always wanting, desiring, needing, requiring, hoping, and why not? There is no other way of being, the minute I feel a want is met, a need fulfilled, a desire within reach, there morphises newer urges and I'm again in that frame of mind and soul of perpetually being conquered by my cravings.
I'm always hankering for more - more love, more attention, more time, more beauty around me, more clothes, more shoes, more of everything. Why, at the end of all high fi talk, philosophical and banal, why does it all boil down to wanting and getting around those wants met. Is that what humans are? Are we only interested in the struggle of meeting our needs, the endeavor of fulfilling our desires. Once we get something it loses its charm or rather one need being met others spring up and we then go after them.
Is there something called contentment with what one has or would that mean end of life? I don't know. All I know is that it is the continuous wanting and desiring that burns in our hearts and fuels us to go on. Yes, there are theories to explain this incessant wanting of mine - deprived childhood, repressed sexual urges if we go the Freudian way, or struggle to achieve, be someone in society, the desire to outshine others if we go the type A personality way. And agreed, that age old eastern philosophies teach us the futility of desires, and promises us nirvana the minute we let go of all our appetites. But, this is merely talk, after the end of myriad discussions and hundreds of books, and the sharing of 'aha' moments of new age gurus, it comes to nought! I'm still here yearning!! and hell, yearning a little more than before.
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