HOW TO BE A FASHIONISTA IN PAKISTAN - 2

• Be close to MEN in power
• Break the law, and get caught doing it
• Get a role in Bollywood films - even if it's a shitty one, and especially if the movie is pathetic 
• Visit Nabila's salon and get a makeover
• Get plastic surgery, even if it makes you resemble your Darwinian ancestors more closely than ever!
• Buy as many lawn suits as possible
• Carry designer bags, put on the inevitable nude or red lipstick, don large shades, slide on metallic wedges, and the signature diamond ring
• Go for 'carats' in jewels, the ounces of gold are so yesterday
• Have atleast one Polki set, fake one would do, would actually do better
• Spend obscene amount of money on 'shadi joras,' and, if it's not your shaddi all the better
• Know how to 'contour' your face (yeah, don't ask)
• Buy stuff you don't need.
• Buy stuff online
• Pretend to eat organic
• Juice it (from veggies to fruits to about everything else)
• Be aggressive
• Join PTI
• Eat out. Be seen at popular cafes taking horrendous selfies with a bunch of non-friends
• Order only Salad
• Wear coloured lenses (yuck)
• Talk on your cell in public at all times
• Text in public at all times
• Stream trendy tv shows
• Deny watching tv
• Claim to have read all the 'currently' fashionably popular books 
• Talk about Rumi and Elif Shafak
• Have an opinion
• Have an opinion especially on subjects you know nothing about
• Be jealous and envious of every other beautiful woman
• Be depressed and perpetually unhappy
• Drink alcohol
• Smoke pot
• Meditate or proffess to
• Know all about the latest 'self-help' theory doing the social media rounds
• Be a fan of Oprah and her wisdom
• Have a destination wedding
• And if you can't; get invited to one atleast
• Go to Turkey and call it terky
• If you have older children say you got married at 13
• Claim to be a designer - interior, fashion, landscape
• Claim to be a great cook
• Plan and throw elaborate parties on Valentines, Halloween, Christmas, New Years...
• Wear shawls the price of a small house
• Believe in 'finding time' for yourself'
• Meditate - even if you don't know the first thing about it