Is that a desperate cry? Sounds like one. Am I hungry to be left alone with myself? Apparently I have this need, this deep and dark need to be alone, to think, to sift, to box in and store, to classify and do all that is needed to be done with information. I need to build memories, and I think I do that all the time. Every conversation, every action and reaction is analyzed and then put in the correct slot to be taken out at some or the other time in the future as and when needed. I process information pouring into me from all my senses.
My eyes taking in, photographing every moment of importance to me, giving it some meaning in my scheme of things, making it a part of my world that I inhabit alone and keeping it in its assigned place. That takes time, yes, lots of time, and that is why I must withdraw and stand back after every action in my life and get lost amidst my sensual feelings and deal with them at my level, in my way.
The cacophony of sounds, reverberating around and inside me. The voices, the cries, the shrill shrieks, the sexy laughter, the whispers, the hushes all reach me, stir within me and stir me, they shake me up just as thunder shakes up the night, not physically but in audible ways. The sounds, the thunder inside me must be calmed and silenced before I can hear anything else.
I need to be left alone. and I know that is my most important of needs.
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