I have lived a commoner's life. There are no epic moments and history shaking events that mark my humble existence, yet along the way I have observed, and perhaps learnt a few lessons. When I reflect on my life and the people that passed through, the situations that I found myself in, the behavior of others, what made me happy, what brought on anguish, the eccentricities, the madness, the influence of my father, my education, my own experiences, all of this has a significance, has taught me something or the other, at times I may not know the real lesson but it is there to unfold with time.
I find myself on my own after a long time, 20 years! sounds ominous and disquieting. What I gathered in those two decades will be the material of some other writings, here I want to ponder what I've seen and noticed, and have discovered with absolute surprise on finding myself 'single' again! Your place as a woman in any society is very much defined by your 'status', and that too marital status. Marriage isn't only a relationship between two people it becomes a boundary, a defining line, a kind of a protection if you will because it announces to the world that you as a 'woman' aren't available for the entertainment of other men (how silly is that? since when has this boundary stopped those who want to cross it!!!???) The marriage certificate then is a kind of guarantee against would be prowlers and unwanted suitors. It saves the woman a lot of hassle, a lot of time and mental distress as it is literally a writing on the wall. Once you are without a husband, you are suddenly marked! (a check put against your name announcing to the world Hello! I'm waiting for the next asshole man to come and ruin me.) Why is it that even after a hiatus of 20 long years, the situation on the ground is more or less the same or if I may say so, deteriorated immensely. Our morals have become exceedingly lax, it is kind of a laissez faire of sorts in the marriage market everything posturing on supply and demand.
What I find now is that the minute a man comes to know of the 'missing' husband he, as if enchanted by fairy godmother herself, realizes that he is in madly love with you!!!! If you seem incredulous at this confession he would bare his bosom and reveal the torturous 20 yrs of hidden love that he has nursed for you!!! and if by this time you are swooning with low blood pressure and shock he will profess that all he wants is your love and nothing else!!!! In these 2 decades that I have been out of courting scene have men 'regressed'? I mean have they no brains any more? or is it that when they see a woman ageing and alone they believe that she would grasp at anything like a person drowning would cling to a splinter out of sheer desperation. Do men think us that stupid? are women really that dumb to fall for this shit? I am finding out at the cost of good friends being lost to the bin of 'sudden lovers' never to be resurrected again.
Another important thing I notice is the very fragile egos of these middle aged would- be-lovers, they are 'hurt' and 'offended' by all you have to utter. Every refusal on your part is taken as a toll of death! the hearses are called out and one is cast in the role of a murderer! I am convinced all men need long term therapy, for they put on this act of the 'jilted lover' while you are left wondering what happened??
Do their wives know what they are up to? that is if they are married? of course not, while their husbands are busy trying to fool one woman or another, they live in blissful ignorance of their numerous and heart rending loves .... aaahhhh
My request to all the lovers-that-be, will-be, were, is that please leave us women alone. We know that it isn't because we are beautiful (nooo) it isn't that you find us desirable(heck nooooo) its just that you think we are available!and easy!!! (hell we'are not!!) so stop making a FOOL of yourself!
Comments
Post a Comment